Never give up

6-20-08
I have been following several threads and conversations from my support group of families going through the same situations we went through with Todd. It is heart-breaking. All are adoptive/foster/going through the process families. Common strings through-out are "How do we get help for our child." "It feels like the system is fighting us, rather than trying to help." "I feel so alone." Each step is hard-won, each a victory in itself. The most difficult of all this, I have found, is the feeling of helplessness as we watch our children flail through life day by day, unable to help or get help as they gradually destroy themselves. That sentence will probably anger some parents, especially those in the mist of the fight for their child. I admire and am even envious of all the parents who keep fighting and are able to keep an help their child in their home. For a long time, after we gave up our rights to our son - even now - I felt like we failed him. Like we abandoned him. Logically I know we did the right thing for him. He is a child who cannot live in family setting. He needs much more rigid structure for success. Even so, the mental illness has increased in its hold on our boy. We have not seen him for 2 years. We seldom talk with him on the phone. He and I do email periodically. I keep in close contact with Todd's social worker. We reinterate over and over our love for our son. I am reminded of a saying "desperate times need desperate measures." I want my book to give hope to other parents going through the seemingly futile process of getting help for their children. I want my readers to understand there are different kinds of help for our children and hopefully, help parents not feel like failures if the hope ends up a residential placement for their child. Selfishly, I am also trying to ease my own pain, my own feelings of failure and doubt. I want to know in my heart, logically and emotionally, that we did everything we could. And our story is not over. A scripture I love and keep in mind is