3/15/2003

March 15, 2003 9:43 p.m.

Todd was accepted into a 5 day residential program yesterday, the one that wouldn't
accept him a few days before. Not sure what happened. They took him from
school. We were there. I don't want him to come home. This program is a
crisis place. Once he is released, they work with the family in home to try
to keep the child in the family. I don't want him to come home. I don't want
to talk with people. I don't want to go to work. I haven't worked since last
Tuesday. I have to go next week. I am the breadwinner. My husband had to
quit his job last July to stay home for Todd. I just want to curl up in
a corner. My other children don't want him home. They won't pray for him. We
are so traumatized. My husband cries. He never cries. Our car is in the
shop, We thankfully have a little truck but it only seats 3. We have 5 at
home right now. How do you get through this? How do I get to want him to
come back?


March 16, 2003 3:05 pm

We are just fallen apart. We are going to refuse to bring him
home. If they force us, we have two places - residential type places - that
said they'll take him but we have to pay for one ($1300 a month) or the
other will pay by insurance at 80%. We don't want him to come home at all.We
are a mess.Thank you for your support.




Oct. 16, 2004 8:15 pm

We gave up custody of our youngest son almost 2 years ago. We had
to accept charges of abandonment. We now have a lean on our house. My wages
have been attached. We pay child support. We have to go to court twice a
year. In the beginning it was monthly, then bi-monthly, and now, twice a year. Was it worth it? Yes, for the other kids in our home. They laugh,
play, bring friends home. We now have a normal home. We visit our son
periodically. It totally stresses me out. I had a mild heart attack last Dec
over all this. I take meds for panic attacks. But my husband and I no longer
fight. The other kids are safe. I try to remember that the needs of one
cannot supercede the many. The courts won't let us give up custody because
our son is considered unadoptable. It is hard. If you finalize the adoption in California, you will not be able to disrupt it, at least in California. When we adopted the boys, we had moved back to California. Washington adoptions told us if there was ever a problem, they'd help. Now they say because we don't live there, they won't - that it is up to California. California says it is Washington. All I know is we hurt - all of us.