Flashbacks

It doesn't take much. A word. A look. A smell. At Relay for Life, some teenage boys did a short run, wearing formals and all made-up and hair styled. I fell apart. Crying, shaking. "Get out of here!" I screamed when they came towards our booth. Poor kids. It was a fund raising thing for them. When my nephew pulls tantrums like Todd used to - like nephew is doing today, right now - it is so difficult not to loose it. I lock myself in my room or my bathroom until I can react calmly. Post-traumatic stress disorder - PTSD - I think is what is happening to me. Horrific. My poor son. My poor self.