My son, now 20, disowned me yesterday because I refuse to call him a woman. He is a transvestite who feels he is a woman in every way. He says I make him feel like he is doing something wrong when I call him by his male name. I told him I could accept him being gay but I would not accept his belief he was a woman. He periodically tells us he is pregnate. I am sorry he feels he has to disown us. I told him that, when one chooses a lifestyle contrary to society, that one has to accept some people won't accept it. He can't force me to say he is a girl. I can't force him to be a man. I thought we were doing fine, that we understood each other. I understand it hurts him too much. I went through that when I was married to my first husband who was African American. My father threatened to kill me and my husband. I lived a double life. It almost killed me. I hurt that my son feels that. I always looked forward to him turning 18 - I thought all the troubles and pain would stop then. It's almost worse than when he was growing up. To make matters worse (from my viewpoint) his birthmother accepts him as a woman. Well, she didn't raise him - he was taken from her at age 3 for abuse and neglect. She didn't go through all the hell, but she gets the benefits of him now. He told me she was his real mom because she accepts him as he is. I am tired of him playing me against her. A real mom is the one who loves you and takes care of you and is there for you. A birthmom gives you life. Both are crucial. I am babbling now so I will stop.